Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
