I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
