Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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