she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
