oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
