You're so nebulous sometimes
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
What a dumb baby whore.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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