He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
