there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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