Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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