I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
