Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
