It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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