i don't like sucking hair
I wish I only lived at night.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
