READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
