I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
