I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
