So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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