Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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