The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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