do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
