So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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