Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
