yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
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Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
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guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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