if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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