I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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