O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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