sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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