I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
