sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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