Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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