I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
