they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
