You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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