i just wanna soil my oats bro
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
