She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
