I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Screwed.edu
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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