her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
