is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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