Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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