you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
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Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
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Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Congratulations! We have a period
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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