sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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