Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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