What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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