I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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