I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
