i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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