I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
