i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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