You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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