I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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