is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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