it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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