I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
