dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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