OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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