You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He better not be in your backpack
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
