If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
