last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
