Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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