If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
