we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
