forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
A+ Viking dick
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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