does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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