Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
