420 ftw
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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