i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize