Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
