planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
